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People think that counselling or therapy is only needed when something is going wrong, but it can also prevent things from going wrong.
Pre-marital counselling is mandatory in some religious organisations, who organise marriage classes for prospective couples months before their wedding. Whether or not the religious organisation you plan to wed in has such a programme, you should definitely attend couples therapy.
1. It helps to identify potential problems in your marriage
When you two talk to a neutral third party who helps you to understand your feelings, you can identify some triggers in your partner and know what affects them the most. For example, you could discover that their childhood is a sore spot, or that they are afraid to talk about money. Then you can know how to deal with that.
2. It is an avenue for you to know your partner better
You’d be surprised at the depths that you have never suspected in your partner when they talk in therapy. Go there with an open mind and you’ll get some insight into how their mind works and how they emote.
3. The activities are a great way for you to bond with your partner
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Drs. John and Julie Gottman developed nine components of healthy relationships known as The Sound Relationship House Theory. These are 9 concepts that are scientifically proven to help your relationship remain connected and strong. Check them out! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❤️Build Love Maps: Learn your partner’s inner world. What is their history? Do they have certain worries, stresses, joys, and hopes?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❤️Share Fondness and Admiration: This is the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. To strengthen fondness and admiration, express appreciation and respect. ❤️Turn Towards Instead of Away: Clearly state your needs to your partner and respond to their attempts to connect. This usually happens in the small, everyday moments. ❤️The Positive Perspective: Use a positive approach to problem-solving, rather than blame or negativity. ❤️Manage Conflict: Relationship conflict is natural and can lead to positive outcomes. Manage conflict rather than always striving to solve it. ❤️Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an environment that encourages your partner to talk about their hopes, values, and dreams. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❤️Create Shared Meaning: Seek to understand important visions, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ❤️Trust: Ensure that you have your partner’s back and put their interests first, along with your own needs. ❤️Commitment: Share the belief that your relationship with this person is for life. You are in it for better or for worse. If things get worse, you will both work to improve it.
Counselling sessions will typically include activities and assignments for you two to complete. The activities will help you to learn each other better, and develop skills for a happy partnership in marriage.
4. Couple’s counselling can teach you how to communicate better with your partner
The listening and communication skills learned at couple’s therapy can serve you in your marriage. A strong relationship is built on constant communication-and not just by talking, but by effectively understanding each other.
5. It lays a foundation for a stronger marriage
The issues discussed in marriage counselling-like money, childhood issues, strenghts and weaknesses, communication-all help couples to be more intentional about their relationship. This builds a good foundation for the lifelong committment of marriage.
Whether you choose to have a church counsellor or go to a trained therapist, counselling can do you and your boo a world of good.
Happy couples know these secrets and abide by them. You should too.
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