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Women… My friends are always complaining how they can not understand women. I am no exception; the more I talk and date, the less sense girls make. So I decided, in an effort to understand women better, I would start asking all the women I know what we as men can do better.
When I asked what we could be better at, I was expecting something I would not understand. But, not only did I understand, I also agreed with basically everything I was told. I decided these guidelines were valuable enough to share with you. Here they are, written from a woman’s perspective since these are things women told me.
I want you to stick up for me
A little teasing is okay. But when we are in a group and everyone is teasing me, deep down inside I am praying you will stand up for me. I am praying you will tell them to knock it off. I want to know you care about how I feel. Take away my doubt. Stand up for me. If nothing else, it will show me you care.
I want some PDA
I may not be a fan of some “public displays of affection.” But I do not want to be disowned when we are in public together. If we are dating, it is okay to hold my hand in public. It is okay to show people we are together. I am okay with and enjoy the little displays of affection because they remind me you care.
I want quality time
Spend time with me. You can put down that controller or your phone while I am with you. I promise I will do the same. Place greater value on me than games or texts. I may not always express it, but when you value your games more than me, it hurts. Games are not bad, but ignoring me is.
I want you to have bros
It is important to have time to spend with others. I do not mind you wanting to do things with the bros. I know you value me by your actions; and if I feel valued, I am totally okay with you spending time with your buddies. Go ahead and enjoy a guys night with good, clean fun. I also need time with my friends! Anyway, they do say absence makes the heart grow fonder …
Also, please be loyal. When you talk about me, treat me as a lady. Do not degrade me in front of your friends. I promise I will not degrade you either.
I want you to be a man
When I see you acting like a man, like sticking up for someone who needs help, it makes me proud we are together. The simple acts of opening a door, paying for dinner or giving me flowers go a long way reminding me why you are the gentleman I want in my life. And true men never talk down to or hurt ladies. It is simple as that. True men bring out the best in us.
I want you to be honest
When you promise something, mean it. I will do the same.
Honesty is the best policy, but just because something is true, does not mean it needs to be said. Being tactful is a valuable art! If this dress does make me look fat, it might be a bad idea to say so.
Still, I would rather hear the truth, no matter how inconvenient, than be lied to (only to find out the truth another way). Being honest with me allows me to trust you. I promise to value honesty enough to be willing to accept the truth. (As my mom put it, “We are all big kids. Pull the band-aid off fast. No one wants it to come off slowly.”)
I want you to express yourself
I want to know you, the real you. Be yourself. When it comes to emotions, it is okay to tell me how you feel. You do not have to do it alone. I am here for you.
Also, say, “I love you.” But most importantly, show me you care. Learn my love language, and I will learn yours. It may not be the normal thing for you, and our love languages may be different. But if you love me, learn to express your love to me. When I can feel your love, doubt is swept away.
I want you to show your love by listening
Listening is one of the best ways to show me you mean it when you say, “I love you.” Listening takes a lot more effort than you would think. It means paying attention to what I say when I say something. Then, later on when you act on it, it shows me I am valued. I will also try to listen to you. Our relationship grows more than at any other time when we have real conversations. Real conversations require both of us to talk and both of us to listen.
This article was originally published on MyLifeByGogoGoff.com.