Women have a sort of way of always having to hold on to a few secrets from their husbands, no matter what. . are just a few of those secrets revealed.
After you tie the knot, the “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine” mentality can begin to shape your life together. However, for most women, there are at least a few things they tend to hide from their guys—even if they’ve got a tight bond. (Because hey, the men hide stuff, too!) We tapped the experts to find out what women commonly stay hush-hush about. Guilty of any of these?
1. Health Concerns
If a woman finds a suspicious mole, a lump in her breast or has an otherwise disconcerting “symptom,” she may often stay mum or downplay her anxieties.
“Women will hide worrisome concerns from their spouse to protect their husband or decrease distress—especially if it feels major,” said psychologist Kristen Carpenter, PhD, Director of Women’s Behavioral Health at Ohio State’s Wexner Medical Center.
But this gut instinct to stay quiet about worries—as if keeping mum about something means that it doesn’t exist—isn’t the best idea.
“You’re closing yourself off to support and not allowing him to see concerns,” she explained.
So resist the urge and don’t bite your tongue. You deserve a shoulder to lean on, and tag-team support is what marriage is all about.
2. Trouble in the Relationship
Think: Fighting. Passive-aggressiveness. Disagreeing about where to live; if kids are in the future. If a woman can’t seem to work through relationship issues with her spouse privately, she’ll often schedule a therapy session—and attend alone, according to Jodie Voth, MMFT, a therapist in practice in Canada.
“I cannot tell you how often women come to therapy without their husband’s knowledge,” she said. “Their goal? To decide if the relationship is worth saving or not.”
While doing this individually can be effective, Voth said, but in order to maintain that trust with your man, it’s really better if he’s on the couch right next to you.
“Women hide therapy because it feels risky to involve him,” Voth said. “He now has equal opportunity to influence the fate of the relationship. It’s OK to do personal work in a given session, but he deserves a chance to be involved when it relates to him, too.”
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Time magazine has named German chancellor Angela Merkel its Person of the Year, citing her resolve in leading Europe through this summer’s Greek debt crisis, and her encouragement of other countries to open their borders to migrants and refugees.
Merkel is only the fourth woman to ever be named Person of the Year, after Time opened up the contest to women in 1936. She is the first to be awarded the title since 1986.
By the beginning of 2015, Time said, “Merkel had already emerged as the indispensable player in managing Europe’s serial debt crises; she also led the West’s response to Vladimir Putin’s creeping theft of Ukraine”.
“But now the prospect of Greek bankruptcy threatened the very existence of the euro zone. The migrant and refugee crisis challenged the principle of open borders. And finally, the carnage in Paris revived the reflex to slam doors, build walls and trust no one.”
Merkel was described as a political climber, a practitioner of “the politics of baby steps”, either outlasting or outwitting rivals. She was born Hamburg in 1954, moved to eastern Germany as a small child, grew up behind a Soviet stockade and trained as a quantum chemist. After entering politics in her 30s, she rose through the ranks, to be elected chancellor in 2005. This is her 10th year in office. Her style of governance was described by Time as “resolutely dull”.
Nevertheless, this year, one of the most tumultuous in recent European history, has tested the German leader’s mettle, Time editors said.
“Leaders are tested only when people don’t want to follow,” Time editor Nancy Gibbs said in a statement issued Wednesday. “For asking more of her country than most politicians would dare, for standing firm against tyranny as well as expedience and for providing steadfast moral leadership in a world where it is in short supply, Angela Merkel is Time’s Person of the Year.”
“No one was tested more than her,” Gibbs said on MSNBC on Tuesday morning, in defense of Time’s choice. “She arguably could have been Person of the Year a number of times, but this year is the one I think that pushed her out in front. We call her the chancellor of the free world.”
Other finalists included the founder of Uber, the $62.5bn ride-sharing app that has been met with both resistance and enthusiasm; Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the leader of the Isis terror cell; Iranian president Hassan Rouhani and Republican presidential frontrunner Donald Trump.