Drinking Coffee Makes Your b**bs Smaller, Says Science


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Swedish researchers discovered, drinking lots of coffee reduces the size of women’s b**bs. (Don’t researchers study anything important anymore, like a cure for cancer?)

The chief oncologist of the study, Helena Jernstroem, was observing data linking large-breasted women to an increased risk of a chest cancer diagnosis, when she found the link between coffee and br**sts. The correlation being that, those ladies who drink three cups of coffee per day can decrease the odds of chest cancer.

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The Swedish studies (conducted using 270 women) found that about half of women carry the gene that is responsible for the b00b shrinkage in coffee drinkers.

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Jernstroem assured us, “They will get smaller but the br**sts aren’t just going to disappear.”

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Though she did add, “Anyone who thinks they can tell which women are coffee drinkers just from their bra measurements will be disappointed.

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“The problem is that there are two measures for a bra — the cup size and the girth, so you wouldn’t be able to tell.”

Good thing that the myth of all men drooling over large b**bs is just that: a myth. Therefore, tiny-cup-sizes can keep on sipping our flat whites with wild abandon!


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