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My mum birthday is coming up soon and just thinking about my relationship with her and the lessons i have learnt so far is kinda funny,
Growing up, my mum use to want me to wear skirts that are longer and clothes that are slightly loosed, she wanted them to be fitted but not so tight that people can see through every curve on my body, She had a problem with wearing makeup and flashy jewelries,all she wanted me to wear was a small stud earrings and a wristwatch, but i never understood it so i rebelled in my heart. I wore what she wanted me to wear because in an African home u don’t have much of a choice but go with the rules. Which was terrible for me and my mum’s relationship. I didn’t really like her much, for real, i had a hard time with her because i felt i was caged and not allowed to express myself.
Now, as an adult, i realized she was just trying to be a good mother, she was trying to teach me that,my body is beautiful and not a piece of meat that should be hung on a stick for people to buy but i learned that the hard way. The very moment i left home, i started dressing the way i wanted, i started living “The Life”. lol.
I wore the tight clothes because i loved them, but i soon realized that guys looked at me like a piece of meat or a girl they think will say yes to them right away, and that was when it occurred to me that i actually don’t like that kind of attention. For Example, one summer i wore a very short skirt that showed a little bit too much and a little boy of about 15 years of age, worked up to me and asked if i was interested in having sex for money, because one of his big brother was interested and he liked what he saw, i couldn’t believe my ears, i was shocked and dumbfounded, i all-most screamed at this little child but i didn’t, Thank God.
I just worked away with the thought that i needed to change because i’m not a SEX OBJECT.
I realized as time went on that,I liked my privacy, i like walking across a room and may be only one person would love to talk to me and really know me as a human being, not some chick that is consider Hot, and i liked that feeling of being known for me and not my body. I like clothes that are loosed, fitted in the right way and comfortable. I love comfort. I actually love studs and wrist watches,they are my jam, maybe because i’m a doctor and looking classy is a good virtue as a doc…lol.
I have come to understand the female body is beautiful and should not be seen as a piece of meat, one of my favorite quotes say, Dress as you want to be addressed. I’m not saying that if you don’t wear skimpy clothes, guys will not talk to you or be attracted to you but most of the time, the guys that will talk to you will not be the regular kind of guy and you will reduce your chances of being talked to by those ignorant young men at there…..lol..
I actually get along with my mum really well now,it’s amazing how age can affect your mindset of the love, you have for your parents.