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Seriously, it shouldn’t be this baffling.
Few things are as frustrating as the mindf*ck, when it comes to dating. It’s hard to prove and hard to personally believe because, well, we all want to be exceptions to rules. Except we’re not because then the rule itself would just not exist.
If you’ve ever felt a sense of impending doom when sending a text, waited around by the phone for it to just not ring, or felt insecure because of a partner’s actions, there’s a big chance that you’re being mindf*cked. Of course, there’s always the possibility that you’re just nuts and overreacting to things, too.
Here’s how to tell the difference between your own issues and a partner’s deliberate, purposeful mindf*cking. And let’s be real, depending on what you’re into, that’s probably the worst, most painful kind of f*cking there is.
1. You’re reading this article.
You wouldn’t be concerned about a man mindf*cking you if you didn’t think it was already happening, would you?
2. You’re always struggling to get the upper hand.
Fun fact: The “upper hand” is bullsh*t. The only people who care about it are players, not people who are actually concerned with building a healthy foundation for a relationship to last. If you’re trying to figure out how to get the upper hand, you’ve already lost it.
3. You’re working hard to make him like you.
What you should be focusing on is whether or not you like him. If you have to strive to prove yourself worthy to someone constantly, that’s f*cking exhausting and impossible to keep up.
4. He “negs” you.
“Negging” is a technique used by wannabe pickup artists who’ve spent too much time in their parents’ basements to learn how to socialize properly, and it only works on insecure women. When a man “negs” you, he’ll give an exceedingly backhanded compliment or outright insult you so you feel the need to prove your worth to him. For example, they’ll ask your pals, “Do you ever get a word in edgewise?” or he’ll compliment your outfit but say something like, “Your outfit’s cute, but why those boots?” Or, “You’re so pretty, but you’d look even better with more makeup/without those bangs/if you lost 10 pounds.”
When a man “negs” you, he’s really saying, “I need you to be insecure because I don’t know how the f*ck else to get laid.” You don’t need to prove your worth to someone who “negs” you. You do need to leave (or maybe kick him in the nuts) then leave. But whatever you do, don’t give him your number and never sleep with him. Because if it works, he’s going to keep being a sexist troglodyte — and that’s not fair to the rest of us.
5. He slut-shames or insults you if you reject him.
Seriously, you’ll only ever be called a whore by someone you never f*cked or refuse to f*ck anymore. Roll your eyes, keep your composure and move along.
6. He “forgets” to call or stands you up…
You wait by the phone or at the bar, because you’re a decent person who has faith in humanity. He never calls and he never shows.
7. … But then he texts you a week later.
You really don’t think he was testing the waters with another broad during that time? You’re smarter than this.
8. He insists you’ll never find anyone better.
This is the clearest sign that you will. Because honestly, does it get much worse than this jack*ss?