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Being cheated on in a marriage is one of the most painful experiences that a husband can subject his wife to. Yes, the pain is excruciating and can a woman’s life upside down. Loving a husband faithfully for years only for him to fall into the hands of another woman humiliates a wife and robs her of her worth, as a woman, and self-esteem. The emotional breakdown that comes with this betrayal makes the woman resentful, angry, frustrated and confused.
1.) She is a time-waster…
An old cliche, we all know and understand, says time is money. So, invest yours wisely. Although it is the first thing that crosses the mind of a cheated wife, engaging in a verbal or physical confrontation with the other woman is degrading. Take time to assess the situation to know why your husband strayed. Did the fire die out, and you and your husband can do something to relight it? Have you become too busy for each other? Do you always complain of having headache when your husband touches you? Is your husband the type that has roving eyes? Try to look for solutions to problems you identify in your marriage. Otherwise confronting her may leave you bitter and resentful, especially if she has the audacity to tell you: “There isn’t enough men to go round, so let’s just share darling.” If she is not the bold type she will deny and you will not make any headway. Do not waste your time seeking explanations from her. She may use the opportunity to humiliate you.
2. Your husband can provide answers …
It takes two to tango, right? Other than the mistress, there is another person who deserves to face your wrath – your husband. He should be the first person to provide answers to your nagging questions. Some women give excuses for their men to justify their behaviour, hopefully to appear like an understanding, caring wife but it is pointless. He made vows before God and the people that he will be there for you through thick and thin. It is his duty to protect you and guard your heart. It is his duty to preserve your marriage and guard jealously what you have built together over the years. Regardless of the reasons why he cheated on you, he was wrong. Sit him down and ask him to explain why he took on another woman. Let him know the damage he has caused. This is not easy and may require God’s grace – after all what you probably would want most is to tear him into pieces. Be careful not to insult him or create a situation that may punctuate into a shouting match. It will leave you drained.
3. You will be stooping too low…
You see, a woman who has gone down that road in most cases has no apologies to make as she does not regard marriage as sanctified institution. By confronting her, therefore, you will only be stooping to her level. Engaging her into a verbal exchange will hurt your dignity and reduce you into a packet of misery.
Dealing with a woman with no moral scruples may leave you in a precarious situation as she will not shy away from hurling despicable and unprintable insults at you, which you may not have audacity to respond to. Even if you are on the verge of losing your husband, your integrity need not go down the drain too. It is absolutely unnecessary to hit your head against the wall.
By Catherine Ngina
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