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Anal sex is the “it” thing to get your partner to do. Yes, it’s naughty and a little bit taboo, but when done wrong, anal can be a real pain-in-the-ass (pun intended) and an absolute nightmare on the receiving end. Whether she had a bad experience, or knows someone who had a bad experience, the majority of women are predisposed to fear anal sex. Your goal here is to make this the most pleasurable experience possible for her.
First, approach the topic by talking about new things you’d like to try in bed. Let her know how much the idea of anal sex turns you on, without being pushy. If you force the issue, you run the risk of her going into lockdown mode. If your partner is into idea, start with foreplay to get her warmed up and relaxed, a requirement for her pleasure. Start small by gently rubbing around the area during sex or when you’re going down on her. You can also try using your tongue to stimulate the sensitive nerve endings that are rarely explored. If she feels comfortable with these initial steps, you can move on to inserting a digit, then two, and so on. There should be communication happening every step of the way with anal sex—before, during, and after. Especially if it’s the first time or first few times she’s having anal sex, ask her about her pleasure and comfort levels throughout the experience. And do not forget the lube. There is no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal sex.